Films

30 best movie insults

Picture the scene: you've just stubbed your toe and it's the same damn toe you stubbed last week. There's no one to blame but that stupid, smug table leg. But you're sick of shouting random swears at the thing. It's clearly not making a difference to its attitude.

Fear not. Cinema is here to help. Again.

As well as teaching us how to inspire others (preferably disadvantaged schoolkids), films also give us a wide variety of inventive insults to utilise in extremely necessary situations. We've assembled 30 of the best below.

Let us know if we've missed off your favourite at the bottom.

(Images: All Star, YouTube)

  • Planes, Trains and Automobiles

    Planes, Trains and Automobiles

    "If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the John and… More details

    Planes, Trains and Automobiles

    Planes, Trains and Automobiles

    "If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the John and watch you take a leak"

  • Gangs Of New York

    Gangs Of New York

    “I don’t give a tuppeny fuck about your moral… More details

    Gangs Of New York

    Gangs Of New York

    “I don’t give a tuppeny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit sack.”

  • Bad Santa

    Bad Santa

    “You’re an emotional f*cking cripple. Your soul is… More details

    Bad Santa

    Bad Santa

    “You’re an emotional f*cking cripple. Your soul is dogsh*t. Every single f*cking thing about you is ugly.”

  • Swimming With Sharks

    Swimming With Sharks

    “You are nothing! If you were in my toilet I wouldn't… More details

    Swimming With Sharks

    Swimming With Sharks

    “You are nothing! If you were in my toilet I wouldn't bother flushing it. My bathmat means more to me than you.”

  • The Witches Of Eastwick

    The Witches Of Eastwick

    "You are physically repulsive, intellectually… More details

    The Witches Of Eastwick

    The Witches Of Eastwick

    "You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you're morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humour and you smell. You're not even interesting enough to make me sick."

  • The Princess Bride

    The Princess Bride

    "I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll… More details

    The Princess Bride

    The Princess Bride

    "I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon."

  • Toy Story

    Toy Story

    "You are a sad strange little man, and you have my… More details

    Toy Story

    Toy Story

    "You are a sad strange little man, and you have my pity."

  • The Breakfast Club

    The Breakfast Club

    "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his… More details

    The Breakfast Club

    The Breakfast Club

    "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"

  • Full Metal Jacket

    Full Metal Jacket

    “It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the… More details

    Full Metal Jacket

    Full Metal Jacket

    “It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress!”

  • Get Carter

    Get Carter

    "You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked… More details

    Get Carter

    Get Carter

    "You know, I'd almost forgotten what your eyes looked like. Still the same. Pissholes in the snow."

  • E.T.

    E.T.

    "It was nothing like that, penis-breath!” More details

    E.T.

    E.T.

    "It was nothing like that, penis-breath!”

  • A Fish Called Wanda

    A Fish Called Wanda

    "You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant,… More details

    A Fish Called Wanda

    A Fish Called Wanda

    "You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-face, dickhead, asshole."

  • The Wizard Of Oz

    The Wizard Of Oz

    "You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of… More details

    The Wizard Of Oz

    The Wizard Of Oz

    "You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caliginous junk!"

  • 9 to 5

    9 to 5

    "You're a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical… More details

    9 to 5

    9 to 5

    "You're a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot"

  • Monty Python And The Holy Grail

    Monty Python And The Holy G…

    "I don’t want to talk to you no more, you… More details

    Monty Python And The Holy Grail

    Monty Python And The Holy Grail

    "I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

  • The 40-Year-Old Virgin

    The 40-Year-Old Virgin

    "If I have to hear "Yamo Be There" one more… More details

    The 40-Year-Old Virgin

    The 40-Year-Old Virgin

    "If I have to hear "Yamo Be There" one more time, I'm going to "Yamo" burn this place to the ground."

  • There Will Be Blood

    There Will Be Blood

    "You're just the afterbirth, Eli, slithered out on… More details

    There Will Be Blood

    There Will Be Blood

    "You're just the afterbirth, Eli, slithered out on your mother's filth. They should have put you in glass jar on a mantelpiece. "

  • Scarface

    Scarface

    "Even if I were blind, desperate, starved and begging… More details

    Scarface

    Scarface

    "Even if I were blind, desperate, starved and begging for it on a desert island, you'd be the last thing I'd ever f*ck."

  • Three Amigos

    Three Amigos

    "You dirt-eating piece of slime, you scum-sucking pig,… More details

    Three Amigos

    Three Amigos

    "You dirt-eating piece of slime, you scum-sucking pig, you son of a motherless goat!"

  • Con Air

    Con Air

    "You're somewhere between a cockroach and that white… More details

    Con Air

    Con Air

    "You're somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you're really thirsty. But, in your case, I'll make an exception."

  • The War Of The Roses

    The War Of The Roses

    "When I watch you eat. When I see you asleep. When I… More details

    The War Of The Roses

    The War Of The Roses

    "When I watch you eat. When I see you asleep. When I look at you lately, I just want to smash your face in."

  • Step Brothers

    Step Brothers

    "I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as… More details

    Step Brothers

    Step Brothers

    "I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home"

  • Quadrophenia

    Quadrophenia

    "Yeah I'll tell you what you can do with your… More details

    Quadrophenia

    Quadrophenia

    "Yeah I'll tell you what you can do with your eye-teeth and your job, you can take the mail and the frankin machine and all that other rubbish I have to go about with and you can stuff them right up your arse!"

  • In Bruges

    In Bruges

    "Ray, you are about the worst tourist in the whole… More details

    In Bruges

    In Bruges

    "Ray, you are about the worst tourist in the whole world."

  • Bridesmaids

    Bridesmaids

    "You look like an old mop." More details

    Bridesmaids

    Bridesmaids

    "You look like an old mop."

  • The Big Lebowski

    The Big Lebowski

    "I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your… More details

    The Big Lebowski

    The Big Lebowski

    "I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?"

  • Carlito's Way

    Carlito's Way

    "What, you think you like me? You ain't like me… More details

    Carlito's Way

    Carlito's Way

    "What, you think you like me? You ain't like me motherfucker, you a punk. I've been with made people, connected people. Who've you been with? Chain snatching, jive-ass, maricon motherfuckers. Why don't you get out of here and go snatch a purse."

  • Misery

    Misery

    "Eat it till you choke, you sick, twisted f*ck!" More details

    Misery

    Misery

    "Eat it till you choke, you sick, twisted f*ck!"

  • The Silence Of The Lambs

    The Silence Of The Lambs

    “You know what you look like to me, with your good bag… More details

    The Silence Of The Lambs

    The Silence Of The Lambs

    “You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling?

  • Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory

    Willy Wonka And The Chocola…

    "You’re a crook! You’re a cheat and a swindler!… More details

    Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory

    Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory

    "You’re a crook! You’re a cheat and a swindler! How could you do a thing like this, raise up a little boy’s hopes and then dash all his dreams to pieces? You’re an inhuman monster!"

Tags: movies

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