This 101-cheese pizza is the invention humanity needed

In a time of economic uncertainty, political turmoil and heightened terror, society needs a constant.

Something it can rely on; something that will help us all remain at ease and distract us from the dumpster fire that is the world-at-large.

That’s right, we’re talking about cheese.

You might be wondering how much cheese is too much. We’re no doctors, but the answer, as some of you might have guessed, is that there’s no such thing as too much cheese.

Ignoring cheese in its purest form, the best way to consume the stuff is as part of a pizza. Preferably of the Quattro Formaggio variety.

But what if we told you there was no need to stop at four cheeses. What if you could have not five, not six, but one hundred and one different cheeses on the same pizza?

This dream has now become a reality, thanks to a record-breaking effort from Scottie’s Pizza Parlor in Portland, Oregon.

The Centouno Formaggio pizza – unveiled on April 23 – was so cheesy that it required Scottie’s to close the following day in order to recover.

Oh, by the way, did we mention they had already made a 100-cheese ‘Cento Formaggio’ edition the week prior? Because they did. Then they added a stuffed crust – using aged mozzarella – to bring up the 101.

As Scottie’s explain on their Facebook page: ‘The Centouno Formaggio pizza is inspired by the Novantonove Formaggio (99-cheese) pizza which was depicted in 2014’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film.

‘The year of the film’s release, world champion pizzamaker Johnny di Francesco of 400 Gradi Pizzeria in Melbourne, Australia created a 99-cheese pizza, simply to prove that it was not a “culinary impossibility,” as exclaimed by Donatello in the film.

‘This year we pay our own tribute to the Turtles, and with respect to Mr Francesco, we must out-cheese his 99-cheese pizza and earn a title of our own!’

Any world record attempt designed to get one over on a fictional turtle is absolutely fine in our book. And owner Scottie Rivera said it best when he told FOX News “We’re big ‘Ninja Turtle’ fans”.

“We had to first figure out how much total weight in cheese would be worthwhile for Greg [cheese supplier Greg Hessel] to pull off each block of cheese that he has in the warehouse,” he added.

“Based on that, we reverse-engineered the balance and proportion we wanted, to dull any overwhelming funky flavours that we might get having a lot of cheese on pizza.”

If you want to see a full list of ingredients, and we’re betting you do, you can find it below.

(Images: Scottie’s Pizza Parlor)