Which Nation Will Bring About The Apocalypse?

Remind us to never wind up the Chinese.

In the same week that everyone’s favourite despot Kim Jong-Un vowed to “leave no American alive” when North Korea wages war on the US, it has been revealed that neighbouring China – they of 1.3 billion people and your best loved Friday night dinner – has been quietly stockpiling nuclear reactors.

Just in case their 27 already operational reactors weren’t quite enough, China is constructing another 24, a number that far outranks any other worldly state, with Putin’s Russia a distant second (eight in the works, 34 operational).

While a great deal of attention has been given to the Iran deal of late – whereby the West Asian state pinky swore to scale back their nuclear operations and not produce weapons-grade plutonium – it seems this groundbreaking step won’t usher in a new age of peace and love across the globe.

Of course, nuclear power plants are not necessarily used to make weapons capable of transforming the entire planet’s population into steaming dust particles - just ask Homer Simpson - however, the very simple problem with it is this: some are.

With 62 active nuclear building sites currently on Earth, the highest in 25-years, there’s clearly a high level of distrust among global superpowers, with the cobwebs being blown from many a big red button, in a high-stakes game of Chicken to decide which leader has the fleeting satisfaction of saying it was they who plunged the world into nuclear apocalypse.

China and Russia are followed by India on the somewhat terrifying nuclear reactor list, with six under construction (and 20 operational).

But, not to be outdone, our good friends in America are hot on their heels building five of their own. And, because they love to super-size everything, the US has a frankly ridiculous 99 already in operation.

So let’s definitely preserve that Special Relationship, shall we? Forget the Chinese takeaway, it’s McDonald’s and doughnuts for tea tonight.