Thankfully, there're no searches for Donald Trump. So that's a big relief.
Elsewhere, things are much as you'd expect from the world of Pornhub - but the company's annual reveal of an exhaustive range of statistics from their esteemed site has identified some interesting/frightening new trends in the world of online pornography.
Here are the 12 strangest things we learnt about the world's browsing habits in 2015.
(Images: Shutterstock/Pornhub)
Citizens of the UK, feel proud
Users from the UK were the second biggest visitors to Pornhub. Naturally, the US were the clear number one, but considering our population (65m) relative to the US's (319m), we're arguably 'performing' better than they are.
But not as proud as people from the Philippines
'Performing' better than us, however, are the good citizens of the Philippines. They topped a chart of Time Spent Per Visit, comfortably pushing the US into second place by a clear three minutes with a 12 minute, 45 second average visit. The UK offered a plucky 9 minute, 18 second average. Solid, but effective, that's the British way.
You really like lesbians, but also step-relatives
Yep, it's the really weird bit. 'Lesbian' replaced 'teen' as the top worldwide search term of 2015 but also making gains were both 'step mom' and 'step sister', with a huge rise (stop sniggering) for 'step mom and son'. Close to incest but not quite, that's how we like it, apparently.
Something funny happens at 4pm
Your favourite times to watch porn are, unsurprisingly, between the evening hours of 9pm and 1am. However, there's an unexplained rise at around 4pm, which represents the peak of the working day. We guess that's one way of clocking off early.
Giants are, literally and metaphorically, big
The top gaining searches of Pornhub are a a real eye opener. 'Giantess' was the biggest climber of all, up 1091% year-on-year. 'Celebrity sex tape' is the rather confusing second biggest climber - Kim Kardashian's was one of the most famous ever and she's been married and had two kids since that was filmed. It's heartening to see 'romantic sex' in there, with a 267% increase, although best not to look above that if you want to keep your wide-eyed innocence.
Chavs are still in
What is this guys, 2007? As well as confirming that we definitely like lesbians, the second biggest gaining search term in the UK was 'british chav'. Frankly, we're surprised 'hipster' isn't in there.
The Germans are very patriotic
Well, they're the continent's most powerful nation - and they're clearly proud of it. Half of their country's most popular search terms of 2015 include a reference to 'German'. They still love step moms though.
The Italians love feet
'Footjob' and 'feet' both feature in the most popular search terms in Italy. Given their country is shaped like a boot, it does make some sort of sense.
Brazil has got into cartoons
Searches for '3D hentai' rose nearly 700%, while 'cartoon' is the second most popular search term. Worryingly, searches for 'pokemon' and 'scooby doo' were in the top gaining searches. Cartoon dogs? Well, his owner is called Shaggy after all.
Russia loves... my little pony?
Searches for 'my little pony' went up by 438% last year. We honestly don't know what to say.
We take a break over Christmas
Traffic to Pornhub was most adversely affected on New Year's Eve (presumably we're all out partying) and Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (too worried about being put on Santa's 'naughty' list).
A Royal baby increases searches for Kate Middleton
Is this patriotic or creepy? It's probably both isn't it.
