'Space and resource management simulator' sounds like the most tedious genres of video games ever conceived. It's like a job, but in a game, and while you don't get paid, you can be fired/lose.
Yet somehow, the bods at Bullfrog Productions blazed a trail making some of the most entertaining PC video games in a generation, all based around 'looking after stuff'. Having already been reinfected with a love for Theme Hospital, we've now turned our attention to the thrills of Theme Park - the 1994 title that established the theme. Literally.
Mismanaging your park to the point of bankruptcy and then having to endure a cutscene that jokes about you committing suicide
It even played the funeral march. Lol, right?
Carrying out staff negotiations over a plate of gradually vanishing biscuits
You could even get them to agree to a wage decrease.
Adding 'loads' of salt to your fries so everyone buys more drinks
The description for the 'Rubber Tubing' ride
"The Rubber tubing ride will hose 'em down with excitement - they'll come thick and fast on the rubber tubing."
This was a game for kids?!
Building Tube Rides in rude shapes
We were all kids once
Upgrading your outhouse toilet to the more advanced 'Boggy Crapper'
Cranking up the price of your souvenirs when the rest of the park was failing to make profit
Being nudged toward squeezing all the money out of your patrons
The not-so-subtle sponsorship from MIDLANDS BANK
The super-trippy intro that took a stab at the likes of Disney World's advertising
Controlling your park research through some weird lab-based fluid distribution
Spending all your hard-earned cash on a bunch of weird trees and the world's most expensive fountain
Becoming lost in the deeply complex world of stocking your food outlets - which could have been its own minigame
Sinking five minutes going backwards and forwards with the tube tool just so you could get the trophy for having the world's longest Tube Ride
Flooding your park with cheap, money-making balloon sales. Those kids loved balloons
Building an unstable roller coaster that would cause riders to go flying
Spending most of your time creating vast zig-zagging queues for your guests to waste time in
Dropping $300 on a Rhino Man to keep your guests entertained when it started to rain and then firing him when it stopped
