Half-Life 3.
Knights of the Old Republic 3.
Flappy Bird 2.
There are many, many video game sequels we've been wanting for years - but do the gods of publishing and development give them to us?
No. They make these instead. The morons...
Irritating Stick
Responsible for the most underwhelming Christmas day ever recorded.
You can have more fun with a real stick.
Super 3D Noah's Ark
Biblically bad.
The Guy Game
Just... no.
AAARGH!
Seriously? You wouldn't give us a decent Godzilla game, but you've got time to make this?
What even is that, a Cyclops unicorn man? Lay off the experimental drugs, guys.
Russell Grant's Astrology
"Oh... that wasn't a fart" - Russell Grant
Probably.
Cheggers Party Quiz
And you thought Cheggers was limited to annoying you through the medium of television.
Ultimate Duck Hunting
"HUNTING & RETRIEVING DUCKS"
Seriously? We thought it was a chess game. Thanks for clearing that up.
Idiots.
Ninjabread Man
Here's how the development of this game went:
Someone accidentally said "Ninjabread" rather than "Gingerbread".
They then decided to make this game.
At least, that's how we think it played out. They shouldn't have bothered.
Erm...
...we'll be honest, we have no idea what's going on here. An athlete and his trainer are becoming overwhelmed by emotions thanks to the appearance of the PlayStation logo hovering in the sky.
Be honest, you don't want to play it.
Sonic's School House
"But Sonic, can't we fight Doctor Robotnik and collect some rings?"
"NOT UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHAT TWO PLUS TEN IS, YOU LITTLE TURD."
Seriously, even the number 12 and the letter C are bummed out by the concept of this game.
Crazy Frog Racer
Aaaaaaand now you've got that infuriating noise stuck in your head, don't you?
We're not even sorry.
Hatoful Boyfriend
A dating simulator about birds.
Because, Japan.
It's actually a fun game, but... hey, where are you going?
Caution Seaman
*Exhales heavily through nose*
Phalanx
This game features no banjo-playing hill billies. The lying bastards.
Plumbers Don't Wear Ties
In this game, they don't wear anything.
Because it's a pornographic video game. Nuts. Literally.
50 Cent: Bulletproof
Bizarrely, this is the exact face made by every child when they unwrapped their birthday present to discover their parent's hadn't bought them Grand Theft Auto 3.
Hotel Mario
Mario! In a Hotel! With... wait is that Elvis?
JUST MAKE NORMAL MARIO GAMES.
Bible Adventures
Spoiler alert: Jesus dies, but he's got an extra life. It's eternal.
Grey's Anatomy: The Video Game
Tap A to turn the game off, move to the sofa and watch the box set like a regular human
M&M's Brand Kart Racing
And the winner of the most nonsensical video game cross over is...
