New app will allow you to check the potency of your sperm

As if smartphones haven’t radicalised our lives enough, we’re now set to get the opportunity to be told just how potent our sperm is by our phones. 

Coming to internet shops at the start of 2017, YO Sperm Test is the first smartphone-based solution for home-testing your sperm and giving males around the planet a strong indication of how well their tiny baby makers are working. 

Whilst women have traditionally been the gender to run to the bathroom with a test in order to check in on the chances of making babies, men can now ‘have a hand’ in predicting the possibilities, too. Yo Sperm Test promises to not only focus on the total number of little swimmers there are in your sample, like all those inferior sperm tests do, but will also indicate the ‘motility’ – how and the rate at which they move – and ‘morphology’ – shape of them – too. 

The app works with a specially designed detachable ‘YO Clip’ – a mini microscope that uses your iPhone’s video and camera light to film and assess the mini trouser troopers. Here’s how it all works:

The device is produced by everyone’s favourite manufacturer of automated sperm quality analysers, Medical Electronic Systems, and has already been found to be 97 percent, a boast that’s led it to win approval from the US Food & Drug Administration. In short, and amazingly, this thing is legit, and is available for pre-order now for $49.95 (for two tests) before its 1 January 2017 launch.

Oh, and here’s a far more in-depth how-to video too. Remember: “NO PARTNERS”: