8 British decisions that were far more monumental than Brexit
8 British decisions that were far more monumental than Brexit
Tomorrow sees arguably the biggest decision of British modern life. Well, if you have a very poor memory of recent history that is.
Far more monumental, earth-shattering, and life-changing than whether or not our little island stays part of a-gang-of-bigger islands are some of the difficult decisions we made in the noughties. Read on to celebrate the greatest democratic moments in the UK's history.
Gareth Gates vs. Will Young, 2002
Back before TV talent competitions were a compulsory part of British life, mums and "I'm just sitting here I swear I'm not watching" dads were struck by a feverish Saturday night Pop Idol fever.
Every man and his grandma wanted spiked-up stutterer Gareth to take the crown, but Will Young's version of Light my Fire won the nation's heart (and 53 per cent of the vote). Can any of us truly claim that this didn't change our lives - and the country - forever?
Builder's Breakfast vs. Onion Bhaji, 2009
Is there a greater symbol of Britain's unique and beautiful multiculturalism than the head-to-head of Builder's Breakfast and Onion Bhaji during the Walkers 'Do Us A Flavour' competition of 2009? Probably, yes.
But although Builder's Breakfast eventually beat the Bhaj with 10,000 extra votes, historians have noted that Fish & Chips - Britain's own national dish - came third. Whether we're In or Out tomorrow seems meaningless comparatively, doesn't it?
Adam vs. Jane, 2010
When Cleisthenes established democracy in 508 BC, little did he imagine the fantastic ways that future generations would put his vision to use.
In 2010, the British public voted on the fate of BT advert couple Adam and Jane, with 1.6 million of us agreeing that she should have a baby. Is that, more than any nonsense about the economy, not proof we are #Strongertogether?
Sir David Attenborough vs. Boaty McBoatface, 2016
When future historians try to determine what we, as an early 21st century society, were like, they need look no further than the fact that we voted for a £200m polar research ship to be named "Boaty McBoatface".
But far more monumental than this beautiful act of national unity, is the fact that the evil dictators at the Natural Environment Research Council (NERC) decided to call the boat 'RRS Sir David Attenborough' anyway. Is this not the greatest oppression we have felt in our age? Are the narcs at the NERC not a greater threat to our national identity that any bureaucrat in Brussels? Think about it, okay? Good.
Socks vs. Cookie, 2007
An online poll in 2007 allowed the public - for the first time ever - to vote for a Blue Peter pet's name. Like all democracy, this was a sham, as a scandal later broke that top dogs at the Beeb had rigged the poll for the cat's name. Though the nation's children voted for 'Cookie', the BBC overrode the decision and named the cat 'Socks'. Why? Because power corrupts.
Susan Boyle vs. the world, 2009
When Susan Boyle skipped onto the Britain's Got Talent stage in April 2009, not one of you horrible bastards thought she would win. And she didn't.
Although the Scottish songstress lost out to dance troupe Diversity, she rocked the very foundations of this country and left us all, every last one of us, better off. Move over Juncker, we know who has the real power here.
Livestrong vs. Make Povery History, 2004
Perhaps one of the greatest decisions of your (yes, specifically you, hello) life was choosing which charity wristband to adorn your wrist with in the heady days of 2004.
Would your quid's worth of siphoned dinner money eradicate poverty, or show you had a vague awareness of Lance Armstrong's male anatomy? Arguably, your decision still affects the global economy to this day.
Rage Against The Machine vs. Joe McElderry, 2009
Back when people actually went on Facebook, a campaign swept the social media platform to stop The X Factor winner automatically topping the Christmas charts.
Voting Killing in the Name to number one was, in essence, a sort of mini Brexit from the monolithic EU of Simon Cowell and Louis Walsh. If you "want your country back", you know where to start.