Someone used AI to name guinea pigs…with brilliant and terrible results

When you were a kid, you told yourself the future would be super-cool. Little did you know the only improvement would be an ability to use an app to get table-service at Wetherspoon’s.

Well, that and computer-generated names for pets.

Portland Guinea Pig Rescue (obviously this is a Portland, Oregon thing) has relied on artificial intelligence to name the animals that it has made available for adoption.

Certainly a much better idea than using the adjective “popcorniest” in a sentence, which is something PGPR has also done.

As reported by Gizmodo, the rescue centre called on research scientist Janelle Shane to create a neural network to name guinea pigs. For those a little unclear on this, Shane explains in a blog post that ‘Neural networks are a type of computer program that mimic the way human brains learn’.

‘Despite having no concept of what these furry round rodents actually are, a neural network is indeed uncannily good at naming them,’ she explains.

Shane isn’t wrong. Here’s a selection of some of the best names given to the little rascals: Sure, technically some sound like ice cream flavours, but what good pet name doesn’t?

Other names selected by the AI, but currently not allocated to guinea pigs, include Rockass, Spackles and Boooy. Sure, it’s got three Os, but it’s not like he’ll have to spell it out for anyone – he’s a guinea pig for God’s sake.

Oh, and finally, let’s not forget the cream of the crop...

(Images: Portland Guinea Pig Rescue)