Give us a passionate crowd, jeopardy and bragging rights and we'll duly shuffle towards the edge of our seats. Live sport can do weird things to a person – this correspondent was once brought to tears by a snooker match – and once you're hooked there's no going back.
With an eye honed by countless misspent evenings and weekends, we've picked out the best sport to watch on TV this week, from consequential clashes to entertaining showpieces, including a free-to-air option here and there.
Whether it's darts, UFC, tennis, football or rugby, here's what we recommend streaming this weekend...
England vs South Africa (Sat, 16 Nov)
Right from the off, the Steve Borthwick era has had an end-of-days feel to it, the sense that a ‘Wally with a brolly’ moment could materialise at any moment. The World Cup and Six Nations campaigns were pleasantly surprising in that they weren’t total and utter disasters, but England have since reverted to the mean – hard – losing four on the bounce and five of their last six, and the visiting Springboks, the rugby equivalent of Space Jam’s Monstars, could blow the wheels off at Twickenham. This may well go down as a ‘where were you?’ fixture.
Jon Jones vs Stipe Miocic (Sun, 17 Nov)
Madison Square Garden doesn’t open its doors to the UFC for any old event. After growing bored of defending the light-heavyweight title, a belt he effectively owned for a decade, Jon Jones stepped up to heavyweight, returning from a three-year hiatus to score a frighteningly effortless first-round victory over the great Cyril Gane. His reward: a showdown with the most celebrated heavyweight in UFC history, Stipe Miocic. The former two-time champion has become a full-time firefighter since his last UFC outing, a defeat to Francis Ngannou in 2021, and aged 42, this will almost certainly be his last hurrah.
England vs Republic of Ireland (Sun, 17 Nov)
From one England team in a spot of bother to another. Poor Lee Carsley. Stitched up by the FA, which forced him to twist himself in very public knots over a Three Lions post that had already been earmarked for Thomas Tuchel, and now deserted by droves of players for what could have been a glorious swansong against the nation he represented as a player, the Republic of Ireland. It’s even raised the ire of the normally frustratingly docile Harry Kane. England likely need to win to stand a chance of gaining promotion back to the, ahem, big leagues (Nations League A).
ATP Finals final (Sun, 17 Nov)
We wish people stopped trying to christen it the “fifth grand slam”, because the ATP Finals are nothing like a major. The Turin tournament is restricted to the eight top-ranked players on the ATP Tour, for starters, and the group format provides a welcome break from the usual. But we digress. With Novak Djokovic absent, the world No.1 and chief Carota Boy himself Jannik Sinner is looking like the man to beat, unless Carlos Alcaraz is able to get to grips with the runny tummy that anyone in their right mind wouldn’t ever risk on such a public stage.
Grand Slam of Darts final (Sun, 17 Nov)
How often do you see each of the top three contenders – and reigning champion – fall at the first hurdle of any competition? Darts titans Luke Humphries, Michael van Gerwen and Michael Smith failed to get out of their groups at Aldersley Leisure Village, blowing the contest wide open. It would be a brilliant way for Luke Littler to cap his first year on the PDC professional tour, but ironically, the 17-year-old sensation has now inspired a whole raft of underdogs. It’s an opportunity that top pros Rob Cross and Gary Anderson won’t want to pass up either.
Use a VPN to watch sport from anywhere
With sports broadcasting rights so splintered, it's tricky enough watching your favourite teams and events without factoring in what you do if you're away from home on holiday or for work. That's where a VPN comes in handy. It'll let you access your usual (geo-restricted) streaming services from anywhere in the world, all while protecting your data. Well worth a few pounds a month. We recommend NordVPN for its speed and reliability. Give it a whirl risk-free.
Ireland vs New Zealand (Fri, 8 Nov)
“Don’t miss your flight home tomorrow. Enjoy your retirement, you c***.” According to Johnny Sexton, those were the words that sparked – not that he ever needed much provocation – his uncouth exchange with Rieko Ioane in the immediate aftermath of Ireland’s latest World Cup elimination at the hands of New Zealand. With the top spot in the world rankings on the line, Friday’s Autumn International in Dublin isn’t a fixture that needed a sensationalist subplot, but it helps. Ireland will be captained by Caelan Doris, while the All Blacks are missing Beauden Barrett.
Davis vs Lemos (Sat, 9 Nov)
Having made his name at the Tokyo Olympics, where he took silver, Keyshawn Davis is fighting in his hometown for the first time since going pro, and he’s not playing things safe in front of his family and friends. The No.3-ranked lightweight will put his undefeated record on the line against heavy-hitting Gustavo Lemos, who’s returning to the ring with a point to prove after suffering his first ever defeat. The Argentine has spent the past few years operating in the heavier junior welterweight division, growing meaner and tougher, and Davis almost certainly won't have felt power like his before. In the nicknames stakes – The Businessman vs El Electrico – the American loses hands down.
Pacific Championships finals (Sun, 10 Nov)
A quadruple-header of finals sounds way too good to be true, but that’s exactly what’s in store on the decisive last day of the 2024 Pacific Championships. The men’s and women’s Pacific Cup finals – between Australia and Tonga, and Australia and New Zealand respectively – headline the action from Western Sydney Stadium, while there’ll also be a pair of promotion/relegation showdowns, between New Zealand and Papua New Guinea on the men’s side, and Papua New Guinea and Samoa on the women’s. The only catch is that your Saturday night will have to power through to Sunday lunchtime if you want to catch all the action.
Liverpool vs Chelsea WSL (Sun, 10 Nov)
Chelsea’s enduring status as the WSL’s gold standard is testament to the care and attention Todd Boehly has lavished upon manager of the month Sonia Bompastor’s team, who have won every game across all competitions this season. In spite of all of Johanna Rytting Kaneryd’s goals and assists, the Blues trail Man City in the standings by virtue of having played fewer games. The deficit could stand at four points by the time they line up against Liverpool, who are in strong form too. Taylor Hinds is one of the form players in the league, and the Reds could end the weekend above Arsenal in the pecking order.
Inter vs Napoli (Sun, 10 Nov)
Sunday evening’s top-of-the-table clash between league leaders Napoli and reigning champions Inter could well become one of this season’s defining inflection points. Yes, we’re aware it’s only November. Barely a week ago, Napoli were seven points clear and, for the first time since getting involved with Tottenham, Antonio Conte seemed genuinely happy. One 3-0 stuffing later, they’re in danger of slipping not just to 2nd, but as far down as 5th. If Napoli do lose at the San Siro, having to shake hands with the dreamboat Simone Inzaghi is hardly likely to brighten Conte’s mood.
England vs New Zealand (Sat, 2 Nov)
The Autumn Nations Series (Autumn Internationals to proper fans) gets underway on Saturday, with a fixture that will lay bare the trajectory of each team, whether they like it or not. Twickenham will be an uneasy place, and not just because of the stadium rebrand. There’s been a strange stopgap feel to Steve Borthwick’s reign, as if he’s only ever one more defeat away from the sack, and All Blacks head coach Scott Robertson is now in the same boat too. His reign started with a pair of victories over England in the summer, but after losing three Rugby Championship games, one of those to Argentina, things are unravelling fast.
Conceicao vs Foster (Sun, 3 Nov)
At the age of 35, taking the WBC super featherweight title off O'Shaquie Foster should have been the highlight of Brazilian veteran Robson Conceicao’s career. It’s turned out to be anything but. The fight itself wasn’t a classic, but the outcome, a split decision victory that most onlookers could scarcely believe, has gone down as one of the most controversial of the year. The rematch takes place at Turning Stone Resort Casino in Verona, New York, against a backdrop of anger.
Harrogate Town vs Wrexham (Sun, 3 Nov)
"That wasn’t in the script,” winks the studio anchor, as the camera pans to Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney, trying in vain to blend in with the crowd despite the outrageous antics of a plainly inebriated Will Ferrell and Paul Rudd. Bingo cards at the ready for Wrexham’s clash with Harrogate Town, who it says here are nicknamed the Sulphurites. Here’s hoping this FA Cup first round proper tie is no stinker. The Robins have never actually beaten Harrogate. Granted, they’ve only met three times, but they were all post-takeover and two were only last season, when both clubs were in League Two. For Paul Mullin, read Sam Folarin.
Brazilian Grand Prix (1-3 Nov)
No need to fret if you’re not a regular F1 watcher. The FIA, F1’s governing body, are making the rules up as they go along. Perma-scowling reigning champion Max Verstappen got away with a cynical barge on his closest challenger, baby-faced cherub Lando Norris, in Austin a fortnight ago, only to have the same move punished a week later in Mexico City. As Lewis Hamilton fans would testify, the FIA had plenty of chances to set the boundaries three years ago but opted to instead indulge the then-rising star. It’s making for an acrimonious title race, and neutrals are savouring every minute.
Detroit Lions vs Green Bay Packers (Sun, 2 Nov)
Even the most dedicated American football hater might want to take note of the pick of this weekend’s NFL fixtures. The Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers are fierce rivals in the NFC North division, and they’ve been two of the best teams in the league all season. Despite losing their star man to a broken leg, the Lions are being spoken of as legit Super Bowl contenders, which is pretty huge considering they’re one of only four teams never to have even reached NFL’s biggest game.
Image Credit: Jeff Bottari/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images