Experts say butter should be kept in the fridge and it's bullshit

Although butter is very clearly not meant to be kept in the fridge, the debate over whether butter should be kept in the fridge – which it should not – still rages on. 

The debate, obviously, is moot: as we have clearly established, butter is not – not – meant to be kept in the fridge. But for some reason, people are still arguing in the face of inarguable evidence, talking about “dairy” “going off” if it’s “left out”, which APPARENTLY gives you “food poisoning”, all the while ignoring the fact that refrigerated butter literally destroys lives, relationships and pieces of cold, untoasted bread.

Anyway, we have a real answer now – according to Dairy UK, butter is meant to be kept in the fridge.

“Butter should definitely be kept in the fridge, not out on the counter,” they told Metro.

Let me put this very carefully: Dairy UK does not know what it is talking about.

Yes, it might be the leading association for the British dairy industry. Yes, it is made up of experts on all elements of the dairy-making process.  Yes, it operates committees on policy and economics, environment and sustainability, supply chain integrity, nutrition and health, and occupational health and safety.

But also: these so-called “experts” very clearly do not know what the fuck they are talking about.

Refrigerated butter will fuck your bread up, mate. It will reduce your tasty piece of tiger loaf into a crumpled mess. Read my lips: you cannot spread cold butter on bread that is not pre-warmed, and sometimes you cannot or should not pre-warm your bread. Sometimes you just want to make a sandwich, and refrigerated butter will not allow that sandwich to reach its full potential. At best your sandwich will be disfigured, at worst inedible. 

I refuse to be in the pocket of Big Butter and I am blowing the whistle on this.