The amount of calories in Nando's houmous will shake you to the very core

If you want to, you can eat healthily at Nando’s. You can eat unhealithy too, but if you’re in the market for some lean, low-calorie food, then it’s possible to find it at trusty old Nando’s. Grab yourself a chicken butterfly, some macho peas and a supergrain side and you’re looking at around 686 calories – not bad for a full meal.

But what if you want a starter? I want a starter. 

Well, go for the healthy option – a small ramekin of houmous and a coupla strips of pitta. That’s the good stuff, very healthy and a good way to lightly usher in the main meal.

OH ACTUALLY WAIT NO IT ISN’T.

It isn’t, because a small pot of the chickpea dip and some bread will attack your innards to the force of 800 CALORIES. That’s more than the entire main course that I mentioned above.

That’s like four slices of pizza. That’s like two jam doughnuts. That’s more than THREE FUCKING BIG MACS.

“What are you having for your starter? I’m having the houmous.”

“Oh, I’m not ordering anything, I’ve got three Big Macs in my bag that I’m going to eat. I’m taking the healthier option.”

So yeah, next time you’re at Nando’s (this lunchtime – I have found that Wednesdays are the perfect day for Nando’s, for some reason), maybe steer clear of the old houmous – it’s an entire meal in itself.

It is peng though. I’ll give them that.

(Images: Nandos)