David Cameron has resigned as an MP

Remember David Cameron?

Just three months ago he was Prime Minister of Great Britain. Then he accidentally took the country out of Europe by losing a referendum on EU membership he’d called, resigned as leader and was banished to the backbenches in disgrace. Remember? “Oh yeah, that guy…” Well now he’s gone.

Bored with life watching Prime Minister’s Questions from the back of the commons and unable to aversely affect the country’s economy in any meaningful way, Dave has packed it all in and resigned as a Conservative MP from his Oxfordshire seat of Witney, which he had represented since 2001.

This means there will be an imminent by-election in Witney, which has only ever elected Conservative MPs since it was recognised as a district in the 1983 boundaries. Interestingly, it was once represented by a Labour MP, when Shaun Woodward made the extremely rare decision to defect from the Tories in 1999.

What’s next for ol’ DC, though? A glamorous career on the after-dinner speaking circuit? Becoming a diplomat for the UN of some other powerful transnational organisation? Buying an even bigger yacht and penning his memoirs? Or, perhaps, returning to his first love?...