Dolphins should be classified as "non-human persons"

Whoever deals with the PR for dolphins should be given a raise, a promotion and some sort of award.

We've all heard someone wax lyrical about how swimming with them is simply amazing and seen a fair amount of videos where they do variously adorable things. But it seems that they shouldn't just be viewed as fun, holiday-sharing creatures.

Scientists, animal rights activists and philosophers have all clubbed together to announce that dolphins, and the less internet-friendly whales, are so damn intelligent that they should be recognised as "non-human persons". You see, like us, they have their own personalities, think of the future and follow instructions from watching TV.

As part of the annual American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) conference, dolphin-sympathisers put forward the argument that killing Flipper or Moby Dick should be classed as murder.

But if they're seen as fellow persons then wouldn't Sea World be shut down for illegal enslavement? And wouldn't we then expect a Planet of the Dolphins style uprising? Don't say we didn't warn you.

(Image: Rex Features)