Eating this fast food birthday cake would be a glorious way to die

"The fast food cake has been on my mind for a while now." This is the perfect opening to any blog post - nay, novel/film/artwork - that we could ever hope and dream of. 

This is how the Australian chef Milton Lai started the blog post in which he introduced us, the citizens of the world, to the #FastFoodCake. And friends, it's even better than it sounds.

Lai created the cake with five unbreakable rules in mind. Firstly, the whole cake must be from fast food outlets. Second, thirdly, and fourthly, the cake must both hold itself together and slice nicely, as well as be presentable as a slice. Lastly - and actually, he was repeating himself here, if we're honest - the cake must look nice-as-a-slice and not be a heap of junk food.

Good rules. Honourable rules. Moses envies those rules. 

Here's a step-by-step guide to how the whole terrible, beautiful thing went down. Good luck making it to your next birthday mate.

And now, for the all important question. How does it slice?

Corrrrr.

Lai also revealed that the total cost of the cake was around $120, which is about 90 good old British pounds, and that the beast fed 10 people. All that's left to say is that we desperately, desperately wish we were one of them.