We gave fictional cinematic slobs the 'Queer Eye' treatment

Saul Silver, Pineapple Express

“This Seventies Björn Borg thing is happening right now, so from the neck up, I wouldn’t change a thing. But the trousers are a bit… Mothercare. I want to push him towards a grunge look: socks and Birkenstocks, and print pyjama trousers, too. The key to nailing the pyjama trend is avoiding anything that’s synonymous with pyjamas – like vertical stripes.”

Barney Gumble, The Simpsons Movie

“His hair isn’t terrible: choppy, short and with a matte finish. But here’s a perfect example of where men go wrong with shirt fit. Barney has gone by shoulder, with no concern for what’s below. Even so, I’m into the camp-collar shirt. He needs to bring in a Talented Mr Ripley influence and look for one in a towelling fabric, perhaps from Orlebar Brown.”

Dennis Nedry, Jurassic Park

“Everything that he’s wearing is on trend. Just not together, and not on him. Divided up and given to someone else, they’d have a lease of life. The Fifties housewife glasses, for example, would look good on a model. We’ll start with some darker colours to slim him down. He can keep the Scandi jacket. An olive coat by Martine Rose over a crewneck knit would work well.”

Napoleon Dynamite

“The Seventies are having a big moment: this hair and glasses combo is straight out of a Prada advert. People focus on the glamorous side, but Seventies geek will come out next. I’d amplify the look with a corduroy suit in caramel, a shirt with a big collar and a chocolate striped tie. I’d push for knuckle tattoos, too – something spelled incorrectly. That would f*ck with people’s heads.”

Jeff Spicoli, Fast Times at Ridgemont High

“The summer collections from brands such as Louis Vuitton are surf-inspired and of this era. He needs a great pair of glasses; I’d go for Seventies Saint Laurent. This is a difficult look for the guy on the street to pull off. It’s so Californian that those who don’t live on the beach in Cornwall will struggle. Try brands like Noah, or River Island on the high street.”

The Dude, The Big Lebowski

“I’d work with the cardigan because – along with the grooming – it’s the only thing he’s got going for him. I’m taking it a step further with one that’s belted and has a fur collar. I presume he has a hairy chest under there, so let’s do away with the v-neck altogether and add some gold chains. And those trousers are out of here, replaced by denim cut-offs. How short? Pretty short.”

Shaun, Shaun of The Dead

“I hate the fact that he’s so proud of his job that he’s ironed his shirt to within an inch of its life. Anyone who’s forced to wear a uniform should rebel against it. I would go for a beautiful white voile shirt with a red silk tie. Or f*ck the look up completely with a white polo, such as Lacoste’s Paris, and the tie as a belt, tying up some grey flannel trousers. A bit preppy and Ralph Lauren.”

Jake Lamotta, Raging Bull

“We’ve got to get him in a double-breasted, cream linen suit. It’s gangster but smart. I’d want vintage Armani, Cerruti or Zegna, with loads of gold accessories. Think American Gigolo – you knew in that film that Richard Gere wasn’t a good boy; there was something dangerous bubbling under. But he was super-smart and elegantly dressed. Jake could be that guy.”