Here's what Londoners search for on the average night out

Taxi number.

Beer garden.

Kebab delivery.

All things you'd expect to be punched into Yelp on the average night out in the UK's capital, right? Wrong.

The review crowdsourcing site has revealed the "most search for" phrases of Londoners looking to paint the town red - and it turns out they're a pretty sordid bunch.

Check out the following gallery to see how the night of the average London Yelp user slides from the illicit to the downright desperate. You can clearly see how the average night goes from boozy fun to regrettable decisions.

18:00

London search terms

• Restaurants 
• Bars
• Massage
• erotic massage

(Rest of the UK)

• Restaurants 
• Coffee
• Massage

19:00

London search terms

• Shopping
• Pubs with live music
• Delivery

(Rest of the UK)

• Delivery
• Live music

20:00

London search terms

• Dessert places
• Shisha bars

(Rest of the UK)

• Bars
• Shopping
• Dessert

21:00

London search terms

• Party venues and function rooms
• Karaoke bars
• Hairdressers
• Tattoo and piercing

(Rest of the UK)

• Nightlife 
• Hair
• Karaoke

22:00

London search terms

• 24-hour pharmacy
• Adult massage
• Nightlife
• Strip club
• Best tattoo shops

(Rest of the UK)

• Gay bars 
• 24-hour pharmacy

23:00

London search terms

• 24-hour stores
• Brothels
• Late night bars
• Best Sunday night clubs

(Rest of the UK)

• 24-hour stores

00:00

London search terms:

• Late night food delivery

(Rest of the UK)

• Late night food delivery

1:00

London search terms

• At midnight, Yelp sees a big dip in searches - this is probably when quite a few Londoners call it a day

(Rest of the UK)

• 24-hour food delivery

2:00

London search terms

• 24-hour McDonald's

3:00

London search terms

• 24-hour food delivery