How to dodge the bunting and street parties

As you may be aware, a member of the royal family is getting married tomorrow. In honour of his much-hyped nuptials, Union Jack tablecloths are currently being draped excitedly over trestle tables countrywide, as the nation prepares to spend the whole day watching a party they weren’t invited to. However, if regal vows aren’t your cup of tea, don’t despair — there are plenty of more exciting things to do on 29 April. ShortList picks out the finest events at which ‘Wills’ and ‘Kate’ will be forbidden words…

(Images: Rex Features)

1. Glasvegas, Liverpool

The O2 Academy, 11-13 Hotham St, L3; £15; glasvegas.net

The Scottish indie stalwarts stop off in Merseyside to promote their acclaimed second album, serving up fan favourites such as Daddy’s Gone and Flowers & Football Tops in the process.

2. Nightmare Movies, London

BFI Southbank, SE1; tickets from £9.50; bfi.org.uk

Readers for whom the true definition of a ‘horror movie’ will be the inevitable Royal wedding DVD are advised to attend this celebration of traditional on-screen terror. Experts Kim Newman and Mark Kermode will be hosting a lively conversation about fear in film, before screening sinister 1971 masterpiece Let’s Scare Jessica To Death, as chosen by Newman.

3. Beat Boutique, Manchester

The Deaf Institute, 135 Grosvenor Rd, M1; £8; thedeafinstitute.co.uk

Popular eclectic clubnight featuring DJs spinning everything from funk and soul to ska. Tonight sees special guests Belle & Sebastian take to the decks to tickle the speakers with their favourite tunes.

4. Narcissus Reflected, Edinburgh

The Fruitmarket Gallery, 45 Market St, EH1; free; fruitmarket.co.uk

This exhibition celebrates history’s original egomaniac, Narcissus. The stream-gazing self-obsessive has been depicted by countless artists throughout the centuries, and his portrayals by the likes of Salvador Dali, Jean Cocteau and Bill Brandt are on display here. And it’ll put your own vain tendencies into perspective.

5. Real Street Food Festival, London

The Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1; free; realfoodfestival.co.uk

A far cry from the questionable hot dogs and overpriced nuts you’ll find outside most Tube stations, this gastronomic fair offers the finest in global street cuisine, from curries to chocolate. Look out for cult burger van the Meatwagon, too.

6. PlayStation Move

Your Living Room, uk.playstation.com

Rather than meekly give up control of the living room to Royalist sympathisers, strike back with a long gaming sesh with latest Playstation Move titles Killzone 3 and Motorstorm Apocalypse. After all, nothing demonstrates complete apathy towards reality better than a seven-hour gaming blowout. ‘A wedding, you say? Oh, I hadn’t noticed.’