The most insane moments from Trump's first 'presidential' press conference

Donald Trump has held his first news conference in almost six months in response to a dossier released by Buzzfeed News.

The report highlights corruption and deeply disturbed ethics, including Russian bribes and golden showers. You can read it here.

Trump responded in typical fashion, with a series of furious tweets:

He then called a press conference and we are reminded once again exactly who Donald J Trump is. Here are the most ridiculous things to come out of the President-elect’s pout.

On tackling ‘fake news’ and why there hasn’t been a press conference in a while:

“We stopped giving them because we were getting a lot of inaccurate news.”

He thanks news organizations who did not publish“that nonsense” released by “maybe the intelligence agencies, who knows, maybe the intelligence agencies.”

“I have great respect for the news and great respect for freedom of the press and all of that.”

Swiftly moving on to industry:

[The pharma industry is] “getting away with murder”

Then fighter jets:

“We’re going to have some competition and it’s going to be a beautiful thing.”

Then being a job creator:

“I will be the greatest jobs producer that god ever created. We’re going to need certain amounts of other things, including a little bit of luck.”

On who will be playing at his inauguration:

“And we have the — all of the bands — or most of the bands are from the different — from the different segments of the military. And I’ve heard some of these bands over the years, they’re incredible.”

On that document:

“OK, first of all, these readings as you know are confidential, classified. So, I’m not allowed to talk about what went on in a meeting. And — but we had many witnesses in that meeting, many of them with us. And I will say, again, I think it’s a disgrace that information would be let out.”

“It’s all fake news. It’s phony stuff, it didn’t happen. It was gotten by opponents of ours ... It was a group of opponents that got together, sick people, and they got that crap together.”

“As far as hacking, I think it was Russia, but I think we also get hacked by other countries, other people. Probably China.”

On Putin:

“If Putin likes Donald Trump, I consider that an asset, not a liability, because we have a horrible relationship with Russia. Russia can help us fight ISIS, which, by the way, is, number one, tricky. I mean if you look, this administration created ISIS by leaving at the wrong time. The void was created, ISIS was formed.

If Putin likes Donald Trump, guess what folks, that’s called an asset, not a liability.

Now, I don’t know that I’m gonna get along with Vladimir Putin. I hope I do. But there’s a good chance I won’t. And if I don’t, do you honestly believe that Hillary would be tougher on Putin than me? Does anybody in this room really believe that? Give me a break.”

On secret surveillance:

“When I leave our country, I’m a very high-profile person, would you say?

I am extremely careful. I’m surrounded by bodyguards. I’m surrounded by people.

And I always tell them — anywhere, but I always tell them if I’m leaving this country, ‘Be very careful, because in your hotel rooms and no matter where you go, you’re gonna probably have cameras.’ I’m not referring just to Russia, but I would certainly put them in that category.

And number one, “I hope you’re gonna be good anyway. But in those rooms, you have cameras in the strangest places. Cameras that are so small with modern technology, you can’t see them and you won’t know. You better be careful, or you’ll be watching yourself on nightly television.”

I tell this to people all the time. I was in Russia years ago, with the Miss Universe contest, which did very well — Moscow, the Moscow area did very, very well. And I told many people, “Be careful, because you don’t wanna see yourself on television. Cameras all over the place.”

And again, not just Russia, all over. Does anyone really believe that story? I’m also very much of a germaphobe, by the way, believe me.”

On turning down business offers since getting elected:

“Now, I have to say one other thing. Over the weekend, I was offered $2bn to do a deal in Dubai with a very, very, very amazing man, a great, great developer from the Middle East, Hussein Damack, a friend of mine, great guy. And I was offered $2bn to do a deal in Dubai — a number of deals and I turned it down.

I didn’t have to turn it down, because as you know, I have a no-conflict situation because I’m president, which is — I didn’t know about that until about three months ago, but it’s a nice thing to have. But I don’t want to take advantage of something. I have something that others don’t have, Vice President Pence also has it. I don’t think he’ll need it, I have a feeling he’s not going to need it.”

On releasing his tax returns (which are being audited):

“You know, the only one that cares about my tax returns are the reporters, OK? They’re the only who ask.”

His lawyer on Trump making money internationally through his business (which he’s handing over to his sons):

“So President-elect Trump has decided -- and we are announcing today -- that he is going to voluntarily donate all profits from foreign government payments made to his hotels to the United States Treasury. This way, it is the American people who will profit.”

On Obamacare:                                                             

“Obamacare is a complete and total disaster…

We could sit back and wait and watch and criticize, we could be a Chuck Schumer... and they would come begging to us, please we have to do something about Obamacare. We don’t want to own it.

We’re going to be submitting as soon as our secretary is approved... a plan. It’ll be repeal and replace. It’ll be essentially simultaneously... probably the same day... complicated stuff…

We’re gonna get healthcare taken care of in this country.”

On his Nazi tweet:

“Adding it was disgraceful, disgraceful of the intelligence agencies allowed any information that turned out to be so false and fake out. I think it's a disgrace. And I say that, and I say that. And as something that Nazi Germany would have done -- and they did.

I think it's a disgrace that information that was false and fake and never happened got released to the public.

On Buzzfeed:

“As far as Buzzfeed, which is a failing pile of garbage writing it, I think they’re going to suffer the consequences, and they already are.”

In response to a Buzzfeed reporter who said “Since you're attacking us, can you give us a question? Mr. President-elect…”:

“No, not you.

No.

Your organisation is terrible.

Quiet.

Don't be rude. No, I'm not going to give you a question. I'm not going to give you a question.

You are fake news.”

On fake news:

“You know,I've been hearing more and more about a thing called fake news and they're talking about people that go and say all sorts of things. But I will tell you, some of the media outlets that I deal with are fake news more so than anybody.

I could name them, but I won't bother, but you have a few sitting right in front of us. They're very, very dishonest people, but I think it's just something we're going to have to live with.”

On Russia’s involvement in hacking (which he mentioned at the beginning):

“All right, but you know what, it could have been others also.”

On whether he had any contact with Russia in the lead up to the election:

“Russia will have much greater respect for our country when I'm leading than when other people have led it. You will see that. Russia will respect our country more. He shouldn't have done it. I don't believe that he will be doing it more now.

Russia will have far greater respect for our country when I'm leading it and I believe and I hope -- maybe it won't happen, it's possible. But I won't be giving (ph) a little reset button like Hillary. Here, press this piece of plastic. A guy looked at her like what is she doing? There's no reset button.

We're either going to get along or we're not. I hope we get along, but if we don't, that's possible too.”

How he finished the conference:

“I want to thank everybody. So this is all -- just so you understand, these papers -- because I'm not sure that was explained properly. But these papers are all just a piece of the many, many companies that are being put into trust to be run by my two sons that I hope at the end of eight years, I'll come back and say, oh, you did a good job. Otherwise, if they do a bad job, I'll say, "You're fired."

Good-bye, everybody. Good-bye.”