Send your Valentine a personalised potato

You can't escape it: going into any shop, turning on the TV or daring to look in your junk email folder will soon alert you to the fact that Valentine’s Day is looming large.

Choose from a regular, baby, sweet or red potato - whichever Spudulike, in fact - and include your message when you place your order. After shipping it'll cost you just under a tenner. 

If you're not quite sure how to share your love, there are even message suggestions on the website. A lot of them include bad potato jokes, though, so we'd suggest maybe just doing a mash up - sorry, we're just wedging puns in now.

Potatoes are posted in standard-sized white envelopes, and generally take seven to nine days to arrive - so chop chop if you want to order one. After all, there's only going to be one response from anyone who receives a Valentine's Day present that combines a loving message with carbs - 'Grab your jacket, you've pulled'.