Here's what men want from sex, and it's pretty tame

You know what men are like, eh? Doing weird stuff in the bedroom, getting all hoooorny and raaaandy and kiiinky, being all experimental (test tubes, smoke, electricity). We just can’t stop ourselves, can we?

Or not, as it turns out, because according to a new study: men are pretty vanilla when it comes to their sexual desires.

Research carried out at the Indiana University School of Public Health-Bloomington, asked over 2000 adults about their sexual preferences, and they came to a rather boring conclusion. Basically, men’s most appealing sexual behaiviours are cuddling, kissing and, ugh, being romantic.

Lead author Debby Herbenick told Science Daily:

“Contrary to some stereotypes, the most appealing behaviours, even for men, are romantic and affectionate behaviours.

“These included kissing more often during sex, cuddling, saying sweet/romantic things during sex, making the room feel romantic in preparation for sex, and so on.”

Of course, not everyone was a big old sop-head, there were other interesting results, too. Out of the 975 men and 1,046 women (aged 18-91, 91% heterosexual) that took part, the following results were recorded:

• 43% of men (insertive) and 37% of women (receptive) had got down with a bit of anal sex
• 65% of men had sent rude, naked pictures, compared to only 54% of women
• Strangely, 21% of women said they’d never had a – you know, wink wink nudge nudge – wank, compared to 8% of men
• 25% of men said they would opt for a spot of toe licking and sucking now and again, compared to only one in ten women (fair enough, men’s feet are rank)
• Sega Mega-Naughty things like spanking, whipping, partnered masturbation, role playing, bondage, oral sex, and having sex in public appealed to both sexes equally

But it was the softy things that everybody liked the most – with 52% of both sexes saying that cuddling was a definite want, 39% wanting romantic things said during sex (like saying “I like your eyebrows” or something), and 33% proclaiming that “making the room more romantic” was extremely appealing (so, putting a mint under the pillow for afters).

Me? Well, my main preference is a girl saying romantic things to me full stop. Or if we’re getting even more specific: talking to me at all.

Even looking at me would be nice, tbh.

(Image: Becca Tapert)