Doctors reveal the most dangerous sex position - and it’s also the most popular

A recent study found that, far from being the horrific sexual deviants we may have assumed, men were way more into kissing, cuddling and other romantic acts than they were anything particularly kinky. 

And according to another new study, in somehow-actually-real scientific journal Journal of Impotence Research, it’s not wild Fifty Shades style escapades that are putting us in danger of damaging our bits, either - it’s bog-standard sex positions like missionary. 

The study sought to, in perhaps the worst sentence to ever be written, “understand the relationship between sexual position and severity of penile fracture” in heterosexual relationships. And understand the relationship between sexual position and severity of penile fracture they did, oh boy!

And it’s old familiar doggy style that was the worst offender - the cause of 41% of penile fractures, apparently. 

Next was missionary - 25% of penile fractures - and then woman on top - 10%. 

The study also took into consideration “masturbation or penile manipulation”, “rolling over fracture”, which happens when someone…rolls over, and the best-to-not-think-about “blunt trauma”. 

Missionary and doggy style were also associated with “fractures of the corpus cavernosum and urethral lesions”, both of which…are bad. Trust me, guys. Don’t google it. They’re bad. 

Interestingly enough, the results eerily mirror the findings of a separate study looking at Europe’s favourite sex positions. 

Online doctor Dr Ed found that a third of people favoured doggy style, followed by missionary (23%) and cowgirl (19%) - so the most popular sex positions were also the most dangerous. 

Now I’m off to never write or think about the words “penile fracture” ever again! Bye!