The new trailer for 'American Horror Story' Season 7 is here to ruin your week

I’m not entirely sure why, but we love scaring ourselves shitless – whether that means watching horror films, riding rollercoasters or even just holding our phones out the car window on the motorway (just me?). Not sure why, but it’s certainly an international thing, and as long as we keep getting scared, people are going to keep making scary things for us to watch. Like the weirdos behind American Horror Story, for example – that’s their day (and night) job, scaring us stoopid.

So far, AHS has had mixed results: some seasons good, some seasons bad, but from the looks of this new trailer for the seventh season, they’re onto another winner.

This trailer is 10 seconds long, 10 seconds, and it still manged to mess me up, big time. Don’t watch it if you like baths, basically. Showers from now on and for evermore.

Here you go: 

So yeah, didn’t expect that, and now I never want to see water or a person’s face ever again. I’m putting the blinkers on and never cleaning myself – dirty horse-man, they’ll call me. And I don’t care – nobody can hurt me in my stable, not least hollow-head and their stupid hollow head.

I also won’t be watching American Horror Story Season 7, because I assume there will be more of the above, and I’m cool with it, actually. Cool with not seeing people with hollow heads anymore. Scratched that off my to-do list forever, thanks.

Oh, and here’s something else I’m not going to watch – all eleven AHS season 7 teasers bunched into one video. I’ll put it below, but I ain’t watching it. Hopefully it’s the right video, because I won’t know, because I’m not watching it.

I have been informed by my editor that it was not the correct video. Here it is:

It starts on Friday 7 September, but I’m not going to watch it. Bye.