New Zealand hotel bans Lycra because it finds the ‘bumps’ and ‘bulges’ offensive

Won’t somebody please think of the children?

In an age where hardcore pornography is only ever one Google search away, and where squeaky clean pop stars like Selena Gomez sing about wanting to taste “your metaphorical gin and juice”, you’d think there are bigger fish to fry than what cyclists wear to lunch.

Yet a New Zealand hotel has imposed a ban on lycra-clad cyclists popping in for a bite to eat, appalled and offended by their “unsightly bumps and bulges”.

Co-owner of the Plough Hotel in Rangiora Mike Saunders is sick and tired of bike riders in their skin-tight get-up putting fellow diners off their food. “I am not against Lycra in general, just Lycra shorts. A lot of our customers are elderly or children and they don’t need to know that much detail about the shape of somebody,” Saunders told The Guardian.

And far from being alone in pedalling his anti-Lycra agenda, Saunders is enjoying the support of others in the local hospitality business. “We had a number of experiences with large men in tiny shorts,” said Saunders’ former employee Siobhan Tolhurst, “and that’s not appropriate for children to see.”

Thankfully there are currently no plans in place to roll out such a ban here in the UK. We fully support the rights of cyclists – and anyone else for that matter – not to wear trousers to lunch.