Oh ma goodness: there is a cheese bus coming to London

Forget double decker – this is double GLOUCESTER.

Something, something, the BRIEels on the bus go round and round.

Is it a CURD? Is it a WHEYn? No, it’s a bus. I’ll stop now – I’ve lost my way so soon into this article.

Anyway, there’s a bus coming to London, and instead of just providing you with garish seats, greasy windows, cans rolling between your feet and endless, endless weirdos – it’s going to ply you with cheese. And lots of it.

It’s coming from Matthew Carver, the dude behind Camden’s The Cheese Bar – a restaurant that specialises solely in, you guessed it: cheese. His next venture is The Cheese Bus (obviously), which will take lucky riders on an “urban dairy tour” across London. The deal is: you climb aboard, stomachs empty, and travel across London, stopping at all the important cheesy landmarks.

Stops include Kupros Dairy in Cheshunt, La Latteria in Acton, Maltby Street Market, Kappacasein in Bermondsey, the Mexican Gringa Dairy in Peckham and last but definitely not least, Camden’s Cheese Bar. Quite the itinerary, I think you’ll agree.

It’s a full day, too – each visit lasts about an hour (Christ that’s a lot of cheese). I dread to think about how many calories you’ll consume throughout the day, but as I’ve always said, “If those calories taste good, then hurl them down your throat without a second thought.”

If you want to buy tickets, they go on sale on 2 May right over here. There is NO WAY I’m missing this, and I’m genuinely lactose intolerant.