Russell Kane's long-term relationship

The problem with learning a musical instrument is that you have to start when you’re about 14 or you’ve got no chance of getting good. I didn’t — hence my love affair with the KaossPad. It’s essentially a touchscreen-operated drum machine and sampler. I’m fascinated with sampling voices, and the odd rude word.

Or I’ll sample something unusual such as Westlife’s Flying Without Wings and turn it into a little dance track.

Learning to play it is a bit like learning Spanish: the basics are easy, but it gets difficult quickly. However, it’s so good, I’m thinking about incorporating it into a routine. But if you’re hoping for a seminal album, sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t even play my work to my friends. Far too embarrassing.

Russell Kane appears in Comedy Rocks With Jason Manford on Fridays at 9pm, ITV1