End the world, because San Diego could vote to name its forthcoming soccer team 'Footy McFooty Face'

Where to even begin with this.

The internet is apparently back at it again with the good jokes, after it emerged that “soccer” fans in San Diego are voting in their thousands to name the team that will eventually grace their city “Footy McFooty Face”.

At present, more than 7,600 of the 23,000 or so sports fans who care enough to “like” the forthcoming Californian franchise on Facebook have voted to give the team a stupid name. If this new bid goes through, the team could name their firm “the bag of hammers”.

The joke is based on a crappy meme from last year, in which a lot of people voted in vain to give a new British Arctic exploration vessel the name “Boaty McBoatface”. It was eventually called RRS Sir David Attenborough, causing all sorts of indignation amongst people whose names are now on a list.

In what will come as a relief, however, for people who don’t like intensely played out memes, the firm behind the expansion – which is competing with 12 other American cities for introduction into Major League Soccer in 2020 – has been wise enough to say it will pick a name from the top 10 submissions, presumably to prevent itself from being lumbered with terrible jokes like this. 

The name that’s currently in second place is the unspeakably insipid “San Diego Surf”, which is so anodyne as to be nailed on as the eventual winner. Barely more than 2,300 people want it, which begs the question who in San Diego is worse, the majority who don’t understand what humour is, or the minority who prefer to eat their toast dry. 

In third is the only serious contender: “San Diego Bad Hombres”, which incredibly only has 1,600 or so votes. 

San Diego is competing with cities including Cincinnati, Detroit, Indianapolis, Nashville and Phoenix to host one of two new teams to be added to MLS in 2020, in a deal which will include $150 million-worth of startup cash, as the league and teams are centrally owned and operated. There are currently 22 teams playing in MLS across two conferences, though the powers that be want this number grown eventually to 28. 

Watching American soccer is sometimes like watching a Sunday league game in which no one wants to play in defence.