The finest moments from our exclusive 2012 interviews
“Hang on, me mum’s wheeling the f*cking parrot through as we speak… Mum! I’m doing a piggin’ interview! F*ckin ShortList are on’t phone, you daft bugger!” - Misfits’ Joe Gilgun: none more northern
“Having a mammary gland thrust in your face to sign an autograph is a bit strong.” - Sir Roger Moore on Bond fans
“When kids ask if I can do magic, I’ll usually say, ‘I can’t right now, there are people watching.’ That’s a bit kinder than, ‘Grow up you little sh*t, there’s no such thing as magic!’” - Daniel Radcliffe waves his wand
“I’ve seen ghosts. I’ve been around them. I chased one once.” - Meatloaf sees dead people. He told us
“I was in India, having a nice massage and the standard ending over there is a quick ‘rub and tug’. So my masseuse, this 5ft 4in Indian dude, got to that point. I tried to move over but in one swoop he’d cupped my balls. He started shouting, ‘Is normal! Is normal!’ Not in my house, it ain’t.” - True Blood’s Stephen Moyer on an unhappy ending
“People blame the security, but it’s his fault. You gotta be on some next-level sh*t to be taking your clothes off.” - Deadmau5 has little sympathy for Prince Harry’s naked Las Vegas shenanigans
“Beckham’s a national hero. It would’ve been great for him to lead out the British team… but, you know, some idiot decided otherwise.” - Sir Paul McCartney wasn’t too keen on Stuart Pearce’s Olympics football team selection policy
“Don’t be a p*ssy. That’s my mantra in life.” - Robert Pattinson
“Cameraphones are the f*cking bane of my life. I want to get violent and I can’t. How could I go into a pub and get a bit rowdy when some tw*t’s going to film me?” - Keep your smartphone away from Daniel Craig
“During filming Cop Out, Bruce Willis wasn’t happy and asked me to clear the set. When everyone was gone he asked me to hit him. I knew if I did, he’d hit back. Instead, I said we could reshoot, then I went into my trailer, angrily punched the air and cried like Cuba Gooding Jr in Boyz N The Hood.” - Kevin Smith describes an emotional day directing Bruce Willis
“If people questioned me about the script, I’d say, ‘Hey, I’m the guy who wrote Scarface’ just to shut them up.” - Oliver Stone tells us how he dealt with doubters on the set of Savages
“I don’t drink blood and I do have a reflection.” - Nicolas Cage is NOT a vampire. or so he says
“The closest I’ve come to joining Twitter was signing up for the Desperate Dan fan club when I was a kid.” - Karl Pilkington explains why micro-blogging isn’t for him
“No, I’ve been in trouble with an English girl once already.” - Usain Bolt’s response to us asking if he would celebrate Olympic gold by meeting some London ladies
“I’m sure there have been a few fashion mistakes, but overall I’m cool as f*ck.” - Liam Gallagher doesn’t look back in sartorial anger
“The actor part of me realised that the director part of me was going to do a really good movie, and since we were already sleeping together, I had a good in.” - Ben Affleck on casting himself in Argo
“I saw a guy get shot and take nine bullets to the chest, so Hollywood is a far safer experience.” - Will Smith on life in Philly
“We’d have all-night drug binges and when I’d wake up, the cocaine would be neatly stacked on the table and any pills placed in bowls like M&M’s.” - Motley Crue’s Nikki Sixx has the greatest maid in the world
“Downton Abbey – that is very good.” - Shane MacGowan reveals his surprising TV affinities
“Books are like children. Some end up shoving beer bottles up their jacksies trying to get money for crack.” - Novels can go astray. Just ask Will Self