With each new World Cup that passes, FIFA, in their infinite wisdom, decide that the action needs ramping up. More mascots, new theme tunes, official partners and now: official team slogans.
They've been around since 2006 (Switzerland got lumbered with "2006, it’s Swiss o’clock!"), were used again in 2010 (where New Zealand won hands-down with the fantastic "Kickin’ it Kiwi style"); now, 2014's efforts have been revealed. And they are pretty terrible. Here's 10 of the worst, followed by 3 quite-good ones. No one - apart from FIFA marketing men - will ever say these out loud. Ever.
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Argentina
"Not just a team, we are a country"
Absolutely factually correct.
Australia
"Socceroos: hopping our way into history!"
Because teams that hop are famously brilliant at football.
Belgium
"Expect the impossible!"
Surely that means it's not impossible then?
Brazil
"Brace yourselves! The Sixth is coming!"
This sounds like an in-flight safety video.
Cameroon
"A lion remains a lion"
An absolutely unarguable statement.
Chile
"Chi Chi Chi!, Le Le Le! Go Chile"
That's really the best you could do?
France
"Impossible is not a French word"
It literally is.
Italy
"Let's paint the Fifa World Cup dream blue"
How can you paint a dream? Isn't that impossible? Maybe they should ask the Belgians for advice.
South Korea
"Enjoy it, Reds!"
Translation: we don't think we'll win a match.
Switzerland
"Final stop: 07-13-14 Maracana!"
We suspect there may be an early drop-off somewhere along the route lads.
And the 3 best...
Japan
"Samurai, the time has come to fight!"
Who couldn't be inspired by that?
Bosnia and Herzegovina
"Dragons in heart, dragons on the field!"
Dragons are brilliant.
Holland
"Real men wear orange"
Yes. Yes they do.
(Images: Rex)
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