Your wardrobe is in a state, mate - it’s a nightmare in there, and it’s time you sorted it out. Chuck out the nonsense and replace it with some gold, is my advice. It’s long overdue.
And if you were needing a bit of help on that front, then don’t fret that little bonce of yours - there’s a bunch of spot-on suggestions right here for ya:
Black POD-S31 trainers by ADIDAS (£99.95)
Nice, sleek, simple black trainers up there. Stick ‘em on your feet, pair of trackies and a t-shirt and you’re sorted. Or simply make everyone jealous by wearing them at the gym - versatile trainer, this one is.
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White heart rate socks by AXEL ARIGATO (£15)
Do not underestimate the power of a nice pair of white socks. Bit of graphic action never hurt anyone either, so this fun pair from Axel Arigato should be in your basket, asap. Just make sure you keep them in with the white washes - greying socks are nobody’s favourite, particularly when you’re wearing them with white trainers - the difference is obvious, and everyone will think you’re a dirty-ankled bozo.
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Marigold Grace sunglasses by ACE AND TATE (£98)
Push the boat out, nay, kick the boat onto the moon with these lairy, punky frames - nobody’s going to ignore your eyes with these wrapped round them. Because if you’re not going to go all-out on your sunglasses, then where are you? Go on, go hell for leather on those peepers of yours.
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Lilac baselines tee shirt by RUSSELL ATHLETIC (£30)
Ooooooh yeah, lilac, baby. Trump the milennial pink crowd at its own game by switching things up and donning some lilac up top. Pair with some black jeans and those all-important white socks and you’ll be casual as you like. Cheers Russell, you old card!
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World cup Volvograd jersey by GOSHA RUBCHINSKIY X ADIDAS (£88)
In case you missed last week’s World Cup special, it’s probably a good idea to inform you of this: football shirts are fashion now. Football shirts that don’t actually correspond to any team are very much a sought-after item in 2018, and if you like a bit ‘o’ soccer now and again, then you’d do well to take up the trend. Course, if you’ve spent the last twenty years banging on about how much you hate football, then you’ll look a right prize plum in one. Nobody likes a liar.
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Rinsed brown bib overall by DICKIES (£80)
Here’s another thing you may not know - along with football shirts, dungarees, yep, dungarees, can now also be worn outside of the pursuit of which they are most commonly associated. Namely: carpentry.
However, if you’re going to wear a pair of overalls, then you’ve got to do it right: wear them up with both straps attached (not one side hanging down - you’re not the Fresh Prince) and wear a simple black or white t-shirt underneath. You’re going for something a little out of the ordinary here, so you want to pare it down everywhere else, otherwise you’ll come across as some sort of murderous redneck clown, and that’s a real tough look to pull off without getting arrested.
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Orange tie-dye crew neck t shirt by CHAMPION (£45)
Tie-dye is back, everyone. The end.
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Yellow bleach treated t shirt by 424 X ARMES (£175)
I SAID TIE-DYE IS BACK.
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Red Sliver jumper by POLONIUS (£95)
If you wore this in the ‘80s or ‘90s, then you may have drawn unfavourable comparisions with an infamous child-murdering psycopath that kills you in your dreams, but kids nowadays eh, they don’t know about that. Big thick stripes on a jumper are a good look, and therefore: this jumper is a good look.
But if you are crossing the road and someone shouts “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you!” then you’ll know why, this time.
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Gel saga trainers by ASICS (£90)
Do two other colours compliment each other as well as blue and white? I do nay think soooo, and neither should you, when you slip these crispy white babies onto your flippers. Supremely comfy, supremely clean, supremely dirty in two weeks’ time.
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