It was twenty years ago that Ruud Gullit coined the phrase "sexy football" during Euro '96 - but if you thought that watching the likes of Spain's tiki-taka or Germany's pass-and-move was the height of footballing ecstasy, then you'd reckoned without the organisers of France 2016.
In common with the laws of all sports, they deemed it obligatory to create a mascot for this summer's tournament, in order to promote peace, harmony, fair play - yeah all that - but mainly to shift some sweet, sweet merch and coin in muchos euros.
In their infinite wisdom, they created a superhero named Super Victor. Who looks for all the world to us like a normal bloke just wearing a cape. Mind you, so do a lot of them. He was initially unveiled in November 2014 before a public vote took place to name him: Super Victor beat Driblou and Goalix to become the official name.
However, it looks like the people of France might have been having a bit of a laugh, as - with the tournament poised to start today - it now turns out that Super Victor is also the name of a prominent sex toy.
Parents googling 'super victor toy' will be in for a surprise as the top result is the Super Victor Giant Dildo which (we clicked so you didn't have to) is described as, "giant, huge, massive, stupendous and eeeeeeenormous!"
For those interested in the stats: "Super Victor weighs in at an extraordinary 5.5 kilos, is 19 inches in circumference and over 17 inches long!"
Those brave enough to take a look at 'him' can scroll down.
A presenter for Lovehoney describes him as "definitely not for the faint-hearted. You need to be an experienced user to tackle Victor."
Uefa has responded saying, simply: "All we can say is that they [the sex toys] are not produced by Uefa."
Ooh la la indeed.
(Image: Rex)
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