You're right - you wouldn't want a slow watch. You probably wouldn't want one that needs its battery topping up every 18 hours, but you can take that up with Apple.
Despite the apparent titular misnomer, the Swiss-made timepieces of Slow Watch keep perfectly good time. The allusion points rather toward its preference for single-hand, 24-hour displays: rather than watching each minute tick by, markers for every hour of the day provided a different perspective on the passage of time (though it won't conjure up those extra hours you need to start that book you've been meaning to crack on with).
There are two models in the Slow Watch range: the new 34mm Slow Mo, seen above, and the 38mm Slow Jo (see what they did there?), shown below. Both models feature a stainless steel case, Swiss quarts movement and sport a range of straps - metal, leather in the case of the Slow Mo, with nylon and canvas also available for the Slow Jo.
With prices starting at £190, you can slow things down by heading over to the Slow Watch store.
