There's going to be a 'Sonic The Hedgehog' movie (and other things we learned this week)
Oh wow, so much to take in!
Many, many things to do and see on this page. You could read them silently, shout them out loud, remember them, forget them, gloss over them like a blasé warrior, print them all off and stick them onto your serial killer’s wall - just do whatever you want with them. Absolutely no skin off our honkers - here are the greatest, most interesting, exciting things on the site this week.
Here, looky look:
You there, you’re not as cool as you think by burning the candle at both ends, never having any sleep - actually, you’re completely un-cool, because you’re making your own brain eat itself, you cannibal
Read all about what those science bods are saying this time here, and then immediately get into bed otherwise your mind will be devoured before you ever have time to say “I only had TWO hours sleep last night - me and Jagerbombs eh? WHAT ON EARTH AM I LIKE?”
It’s very bloody stressful being a human being nowadays, and it’s literally killing some of us
Whack those peepers on another depressing story about your mortality here, then calm yourself, because there’s steam coming from the top of your head and your red veiny neck looks like a big fat you-know-what
Weezer finally caved in to the might of The Internet and did what we wanted them to do all along
Listen to their cover of Toto’s ‘Africa’ here, and bathe in the glory that this wonderful digital world gifts us - it’s SO GREAT BEING ONLINE ISN’T IT
Russia isn’t exactly the most welcoming place for LGBTQ football fans looking for an enjoyable holiday during the World Cup
Read what happened when one of our writers tried to book a hotel for him and his boyfriend and feel the chill, here
One of the worst videos has been released upon this here internet and you are about to watch it and have your day ruined
If you fancy watching an off-duty FBI agent doing a back-flip and accidentally shooting someone in the leg, then you may as well click here
Tom Cruise is a bit of a bloody show-off, isn’t he now?
Watch a video of Tom Cruise doing a really dangerous sky-dive here, and then wipe the sweat from your brow and thank the Heavens (which Tom was quite near) that you have fully entrenched your arse into that office chair of yours and are completely safe and in no danger of death, apart from the small chance that you might die of boredom
Richard Madeley is this country’s greatest television presenter, perhaps the world’s
Watch a clip of him being the most Dad version of Alan Partridge that you’ve ever seen here - he’s getting out of control, the man is spiraling into an incomprehensible oblivion and I shall be there every step of the way, regardless of the difficulty involved when trying to survive in a Black Hole
Andrew Lincoln, everybody’s favourite ‘man with a fake accent’ and ‘that bloke who won’t stop harping on about zombies’ has decided to leave The Walking Dead, presumably so he doesn’t have to have a fake accent and harp on about zombies anymore
Read all about it here, and find out who’s going to be taking over his role as the main character - clickbait? You better believe we’re not above that. Come on. CLICK IT. CLICK RIGHT HERE, SCAREDY-CAT.
The British passport might not be all it’s cracked up to be once that meteor known as Brexit hits Planet Earth
So head on over here and you can find out which passports it’s best to have if you fancy travelling somewhere without filling out a form which requires you cough up highly sensitive information like, you know, where exactly on your body your eczema is located
Drinking beer is a good and healthy thing to do in the morning, shut up
Here is exactly why. This is from a health professional. STOP SAYING I CAN’T I WANT TO
They’re doing a Sonic The Hedgehog movie - this is a thing, and there shall be no judgement from our end upon discovering what you feel about this, really you can hate the idea or love it, we shall remain on the fence regarding your strong personal opinions because we’re not very good in a fight
Check out all the goss about the movie here, and then retain that opinion of yours, but just know that will will not react, we are conscientious objectors to matters of this ilk - take your fighting talk elsewhere
You’re probably attending a wedding this summer and that is news in and of itself
And if you need some tips on how to dance at one - you do, we’ve seen you - then read a bunch here, from noted footwork-fan Ne-Yo, a man who has been described by one particular man who is currently typing this very minute, as: confident on his feet
Defusing a bomb is a very hard and terrifying thing to do
See? Anyone that tells you otherwise is a LIAR
Drake and Pusha T are at each other’s throats like a pair of right wallies, this is not an example to set for the kids
You can read the full, comprehensive timeline of the entire thing here, and then maybe you will be spurred on to start a beef of your own with someone out of nowhere, it’s not our place to say
A Russian journalist died and then turned up at a press conference absolutely not dead in any way, and many many faces were met with the wet slap of many many eggs
Read all about how and exactly why he did this here, but don’t get any ideas because it’s probably illegal, right, to fake your own death, like if you made a big scene in your office and suddenly pretended to drop dead right in the middle of writing someth