This 'English hamper' given to the EU is the most Brexit thing ever

Make a note of the date today because you’ll need it when people ask you when we reached peak Brexit.

If you thought we’d reached it a couple of days ago, well that would be an understandable mistake to make, given David Davis’ utterly ludicrous claim that the EU is discriminating against the UK and damaging its economic interests by preparing for a no-deal scenario - that is, the no-deal scenario frequently mentioned as an option by the UK and which Davis himself has, famously, failed to prepare for; a turn of events succinctly taken down, as so often is the case, by an EU spokesman:

No, while that was undeniably very Brexit, this is actually peak Brexit.

Prepare yourselves. Here we go.

That’s right people, what you’re looking at there is an ‘English hamper’, put together by the Independent MEP Steven Woolfe, formerly of UKIP to give to the EU’s Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier. And it is peak Brexit.

Let’s go through it shall we?

English wine (not pictured):

English Cheese:

PG Tips & Marmite:

Marmalade:

Piccalilli:

Fortnum & Mason, which is owned by Wittington Investments:

And, of course, because nothing is more predictable in this world, the complete works of William Shakespeare and a biography of Sir Winston Churchill (American mother) are in there too.

Mr Barnier’s adviser Stefaan De Rynck was also quick to point out that the Dorset Hundred Dram cheddar was protected by an EU regional designation, while the marmalade jar had on it an EU organic logo. Meanwhile, he added that Mr Barnier had recently seen the Churchill biopic Darkest Hour.

The hamper was presented by a delegation including former trade minister and ex-CBI chief Lord Jones of Birmingham, Leave Means Leave co-chairman John Longworth and Labour Leave chairman John Mills, alongside Woolfe.

Woolfe said: “We told him that a trade deal should include goods and services. Our message was that if we don’t have an inclusive agreement for goods and services, the British public will say we should walk away with no deal.”

Meanwhile, Francis Grove-White, deputy director of the Open Britain campaign for close ties with the EU, said: 

“We have reached peak Brexit. Self-important charlatans marching around Brussels with hampers of quintessentially British products – many of which are owned by companies that have said they are deeply worried about the impact of Brexit – does nothing to further the national interest. This is no time for ridiculous stunts. The prosperity of our country is at stake. We must protect jobs and our economy, and that means staying in the single market and the customs union on a permanent basis.”

We’d wager that this happened at some point during the meeting:

(Main image: Rex)