Here's a list of all the weird shit people have left in Ubers

When it comes down to it: we’re idiots, aren’t we. Human beings, on the whole, are idiots. We make mistakes, we say the wrong things, we get drunk on a Tuesday night even though we have work the next day. And the corollary of this: we lose shit in the back of Ubers.

Now Uber has released a “Lost and Found Index”, a list of everything idiot people like us have left behind in their cars – and it’s a pretty diverse list to say the least. There are some pretty obvious ones to kick us off: their top ten includes phones, rings, keys, wallets, glasses, purses, IDs, gloves, chargers and sunglasses. So far, so predictable.

Then there are the weird-but-kind-of-understandable additions: a paycheck, school papers, bags, earrings, a hard drive. Fine. These are fine, acceptable things to lose in the back of a car. Engagement ring: less acceptable, but maybe the dude was nervous. We will give him the benefit of the doubt here.

It’s here that the list gets even weirder. There’s the inexplicable “sweet potato care package”, for a start, which due to being literally un-Googleable we’re assuming is just...a sweet potato? On its own? That you give to someone who is sad or ill? I dunno, mate. It makes zero sense that you would 1) buy someone a sweet potato as part of a care package 2) forget that you were taking a sweet potato to someone as part of a care package. Neither of these things makes any sense whatsoever.

It doesn’t get any less puzzling, either. Next on the list is “lobster”. Doesn’t say whether the lobster is alive or dead but we’re going to assume “dead” because there is no way someone would just leave a live lobster crawling around in the back of a Prius. But still: how do you leave a dead lobster in the back of a Prius? What are these people doing? Are they drunk? If so: why are they drunk and holding a lobster?

Anyway, here are some of the other weirdest thing people have left behind:

• A laser
• A pool cue
• A bulletproof vest
• A packet of meat
• Some rose quartz
• A back massaging device
• Some mustard
• The Bible
• A jumper for a dog
• A violin
• A sling
• A cape
• The handle of a tap
• A rubber mallet
• Ski poles
• An entire wedding outfit
• A cardboard cutout of an elf

Anyway, Uber has also released the days you’re most likely to lose something and, surprise surprise, the top three are Sunday, Saturday and Friday because you’re probably drunk. They’ve also provided a handy video on how to get your lost items back, so you can always retrieve your sweet potato the morning after.