This is officially the biggest cause of flatmate fallouts

You hate your housemates. They leave their shit everywhere, the steal your avocados – YOUR AVOCADOS! THE FUCKING SAVAGES! – and, worst of all, there’s the arguments about money. 

According to research from Paym, the mobile payment system, "over a third (36%) of PASS-ers (Professional and Still Sharing Generation) state small informal bills are the source of most conflict". Besides PASS-ers not being a thing and just a desperate grab for relevance by a tech nerds, the claim represents something indicative of these awful times we live in.

For one thing, FAKE NEWS (because everyone knows the main cause of feudal shared houses is mess, messiness, and the messy) but it also shows how terrible people are when it comes to money. Not the big stuff - major bills ranked only third on the list – but the small fry shit. Over a third of people get into arguments with the people they live with about bin bags, about eggs, about olive oil. Not being paid back for avocados – SERIOUSLY STOP EATING THEM – or pepper or Fairy Liquid is an insignificant but legit annoying: it feels more like a slight than someone owing you serious dough, which only makes it worse.

Tightness, as my dad says, is something I do not like. It’s just a blatant disrespect. It’s a few pound – like a coffee’s worth, tops – and not paying it back smacks of opprobrium. Which is a word we just looked up which means “lack of respect”. These costs add up too: according to the report, over a third of house sharers losing out between £11 to 25 a month and almost a fifth losing over £100 or more a month, and come at an even higher emotional cost with a fifth of flatmates finding the pettiness surrounding these bills to be of the biggest bother and a fifth finding sorting finances creates tension and arguments.

People are terrible.