We've stayed in many places that have barely been passed fit for human habitation: cockroaches, no hot water, views of a brick wall and, worst of all, no complimentary biscuits.
But we suspect you don't want to know about them. What you do want to know about is the planet's finest hotel views (and, we'd imagine, really good biscuits).
Below are our top 10 views; don't worry Lenny, the M6 Toll Premier Inn was no. 11 we promise.
1. JW Marriott Marquis Hotel Dubai (Dubai, United Arab Emirates)
Four words for you. The. World's. Tallest. Hotel. Stunning views are all well and good, but guaranteed jaw-dropping views from both your bed and your bath are few and far between. With views of the Burj Al Arab and the coast one way, or sweeping desert views and the Burj Khalifa the other, this is once in a lifetime stuff.
We stayed the night here and woke up in the clouds...
2. Banyan Tree (Bangkok, Thailand)
This hotel is famous for its panoramic city views, and at the very top, 'Vertigo' is its unique open-air bar-cum-restaurant which is situated 61 floors above the streets of Bangkok.
3. Fasano Rio (Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
A rooftop infinity pool offers a panoramic view of Ipanema Beach, from an angle that includes the Arpoador beach, the Two Brothers mountain and the Corcovado, with the famous Cristo Redentor at its peak.
4. Hotel Tremezzo (Lake Como, Italy)
One of the oldest luxury hotels on the shores of Lake Como, Hotel Tremezzo is an authentic Art Nouveau palace with stunning panoramic views of the lake itself, facing directly onto Bellagio where the two branches of the lake meet, against the backdrop of the Grigne mountains.
5. Kasbah Tamadot (Atlas Mountains, Morocco)
Breathtaking views set in the foothills of the Atlas Mountains 1,320m above sea level, and on a clear day you can see Mount Toubkal, the Atlas’ highest peak. It was bought by Sir Richard Branson in 1998 when he saw it during one of his famous ballooning expeditions
6. Laucala (Laucala Island, Fiji)
The exotic Plateau Residences are situated on the Nawi hill overlooking the South Pacific Ocean, lending itself to a spectacular cliff-top view of neighbouring islands.
7. Llao Llao Hotel (Bariloche, Argentina)
Located within the Nahuel Huapi National Park in a stunning mountain setting, perfect for skiing.
8. The Standard (New York, USA)
Views of the Hudson River and New York’s infamous skyline. The hotel’s 18th floor cocktail lounge also boasts a stunning outlook with 360˚ views of the city.
9. The Yeatman (Porto, Portugal)
Occupying a commanding hillside position on the south bank of the River Douro, the Yeatman has panoramic views over the river to the historic centre of Oporto.
10. Wildflower Hall (Shimla, India)
Situated at 8,250 feet in the Himalayas, you can see awe-inspiring views of the pine-covered mountains and valleys above and below.
Images: Fasano Rio/Banyan Tree Bangkok/Kasbah Tamadot/Llao Llao/The Standard/The Yeatman/Wildflower Hall/Laucala/Hotel Tremezzo/The Twelve Apostles/The Most Perfect View
