Sorry, but this video is 100% proof that ghosts definitely exist

I believe in ghosts, for the sole reason that it’s fun to believe in ghosts. Why shouldn’t there be poltergeists and haunted portraits and scary Victorian ladies with no heads? Let them exist, mainly because it enables me to fart in my living room and then say “Shit, must have been a ghost.” It’s very funny and never gets old (see also: “Oh no, foxes!” and “That plane sounds close”). So yeah, ghosts are real.

And now, regardless of your stance on the spooky ones, we have definitive proof they exist. We have a video of an absolute ghost in a school in Ireland - this is no take-backs irrefutable. The CCTV at Deerpark C.B.S in Cork recorded what can only be decribed as paranormal activity - you’ve got a shaking locker, doors being opened and a wet floor sign being punted across the room. And we all know how much spooks hate wet floor signs.

Are you ready to watch this? It’s pretty creepy, so I’d suggest keeping the lights on if you’re a Nervous Nancy - seriously, this is scary stuff. Ready?

Abandon hope all ye who enter here:

Brb, never going back to school ever again. I mean, I wasn’t planning on doing that anyway, but now that there are ghosts, I’m not doing it even more.

Aaron Wolfe, Deerpark’s headteacher, told Unilad:

“Our caretaker has worked in the school for over 30 years, he recalls many stories of ‘paranormal activity’. For example on one occasion the school was hosting an exotic bird show, and the birds arrived the day before, because the organisers were worried that someone might break in and steal the birds, someone had to stay overnight.

“That person left the school in the middle of the night - they refused to stay any longer as they said that they heard ‘The Last Call’ being played on a trumpet - of course this could have just been the wind!”

I presume he means The Last Post? Either way - trumpets are scary even when they’re not being played by a ghost, so I feel for the terrified bird-protector.

Deerpark C.B.S is the oldest school in that part of Ireland, and was founded in 1828, so it’s not surprising that there’s a bunch of spectres roaming the halls and knocking over signs - you never hear of a spirit floating around the IT department of the local comp, do you?

I wish my one was haunted - a sodding ghost at your school is the perfect excuse to pull a sickie. Or do a massive blow-off during maths.

(Image: Carlos Martinez)