You can now get penis (and vagina) emoji and they’re terrifying
A complete guide to all the rude emojis you will ever need
There’s a consensus, these days, really, that the eggplant emoji (which should really be called the aubergine emoji, and then be shortened in turn to “emauberji“) represents a penis. There’s such consensus on it, in fact, that such a credible source as Dictionary.com includes it, as well as the various combinations it can be a part of.
“While it can literally refer to the food item, it’s most often used online to represent a penis. This is in large part due to other emoji representations of long foods associated with penises (like the banana or cucumber) looking less like penises.
“The eggplant emoji is frequently combined with other emoji. When paired with the mouth emoji, it means oral sex. When paired with the peach emoji (a butt or female genitalia), it means anal or vaginal sex. When next to the sweat droplets emoji, it means ejaculation.”
So far, so… imbalanced. Why is there one clear unambiguous emoji for the penis, but the peach can represent either a vagina or a bottom? Those are two different body parts. Shouldn’t there be one emoji that is chosen by society to represent each of those?
There are several contenders for the vagina crown, like the cat emoji, the honey pot emoji, the tulip emoji, the taco emoji and the praying-hands one. All are strong contenders although potentially bring in their own issues with ambiguity depending on your lifestyle – beekeepers don’t want their every text misinterpreted.
A few years ago a company called Flirtmoji launched an app intended to be, among other things, completely unambiguous. The “flirt” part of the name is arguably something of a misnomer, as it specialises in images that can in no way be misinterpreted. If you want an emoji for, say, a strap-on dildo, you can just go into the app, find the emoji, copy it and paste it into a text message to someone you’re discussing strap-on dildos with.
They really went for it on the genital front when they launched, beginning with a large, diverse selection of vaginas:
And following up a week or so later with some extraordinarily specific penises. Is the guy in the middle suffocating?
Flirtmoji are still updating their product – they added a big load of weed emojis for 4/20 earlier this year – and should be praised for their commitment to bypassing euphemism.
We’ve come a long way since writing “5318008” on calculators and AIM-ing “8==o~~” at each other.
Well done, humanity.