With the polls showing a resurgent Labour party after two years of scorn poured upon leader Jeremy Corbyn, some people seem to have… changed their opinion, should we say. People who had once been openly critical of Corbyn are now notably less so, taken to referring to him by his new, established title – that of the Absolute Boy – and are paying their penance with the purchase of Corbyn-related merchandise, barnacle-ing onto the ground swell of youth support with little shame.
Still! At least there are some nice T-shirts about – so here is some of the best (and a few of the worst, just for context) Corbyn-related clothing around:
‘JEREMY CORBYN LABOUR VINTAGE’ T-SHIRT
A cut and paste job in the style of Homage Tees, you get both Jeremys here: teal-trackie out-to-the-shops-to-get-a-paper-and-milk Corbyn and suave, arrested-protester Corbyn.
‘JEREMY CORBYN CAN HIGH 5 ME ANY TIME’ T-SHIRT
You know, because he hit Emily Thornberry in the tit.
‘CORBYN SAVAGE’ T-SHIRT
What is going on here? Why is he a ‘savage’? Why is he a ‘hashtag-savage’? Why is the picture on the website so squashed? Why is the creative so washed? When will people learn that trying to take hashtags into real life is a stupid idea that makes no sense? Does Jeremy Corbyn deserve better than this? Yes, he does.
‘JEREMY CORBYN LAUGHING’ T-SHIRT
Kinda respect this for the straight-forwardness of it, the designer taking roughly the time it takes to download a medium-quality JPEG of Corbyn having a giggle to slap a red text box over his head.
‘JEREMY CORBYN VOTE LABOUR’ T-SHIRT
HERE WE, HERE WE, HERE WE FUCKING GO.
BONUS: ‘CORBYN GREGGS’ LEGGINGS
A quick sojourn into the world of leggings sees Corbyn immortalised as the logo for everyone’s favourite bargain pasty chain slapped on a pair of cheap leggings. In 10 years we’ll look back at this and wonder what level of irony we were going for here and have nothing even approaching a clue. I envy future us.
‘CORBYN LABOUR SWOOSH’ T-SHIRT
The original, the best. Do we like this design? *does a big tick/swoosh on a piece of paper* We do.
‘DEBATE ME BRO’ T-SHIRT
Get fucked.
'JEREMY CORBYN THE PEOPLE'S CHAMP' T-SHIRT
The only shirt here that – at the time of writing, anyway – is sold out, this illustrated offering from art duo The Lurkers has a little bit of “mural of Only Fools & Horses characters on a wall by Margate Beach” about it and a big ol’ Wavey Garms pony on the breast. Managing to capture Corbyn’s ramshackle charm with a little bit of a sense of humour, the Lurkers did good.
‘JEREMY CORBYN JANE DOE’ T-SHIRT
Riffing on acclaimed hardcore band Converge’s album artwork for Jane Doe, here Jeremy is the sultry angel of darkness, a sort-of shadowy Che figure who’s apparently also dead into early-2000s metalcore. A man of the people, truly.
‘JEREMY CORBYN LABOUR LUXURY’ T-SHIRT
Flagrant copyright infringement aside, this might just be the perfect shirt and we’d be very surprised if they don’t start poppping up all over your Instagram timeline (depending, of course, on the political ideologies of the company you keep and the whim of Instagram’s increasingly eccentric algorithms) while stocks last.
