Personalised robotic assistants. 'Smart' doors. Connected razors.
The halls of this year's IFA tech show aren't just full of the latest smartphones and super laptops - there are some weird gadgets making their way to shop shelves this Christmas.
We sent ShortList.com's tech editor David Cornish to explore this year's IFA to find the oddest gadgets of the show.
Not every gadget is actually that useful...
Kevo Smart Lock
In the future, you're not going to be locked out of your house because you forgot your keys. You're going to be locked out because your smartwatch, smartphone and tablet all ran out of battery, thus making it impossible to open the smart lock on your door.
This one shares the name of the chap you're going to have to call to come and remove it for you.
Samsung Cyclone Force robotic vacuum cleaner
The day humanity becomes too lazy to vacuum the dirt from its own carpets is the day we probably deserve to be taken over by our robotic creations.
Expect to find this device sucking the air from your lungs as you sleep in the near future. They're clever, but there's something sinister about them.
Your new nightmare
This piece of kit is supposed to be the future of conference calls, allowing you to talk to someone as though they were really there.
What it actually does is allow someone's voice and visage to follow you around the house like a weird digital ghost, haunting you via a creepy motorised Skype call. The future is weird.
Guoguo
This is a Chinese company that specialises in tech accessories such as data cables and power banks.
And no, they've never heard of Google, and any likeness their company name or logo design bares with the former logo of said search giant is entirely coincidental. They'll ignore your legal requests even if you do think otherwise.
Philips Bluetouch
Back problems? Philips has the answer: a LED blue light that apparently stimulates blood flow to your problematic muscle areas, prompting repair and recovery.
It's not going to replace exercise and bending from the knee, but it's a fun way to spend a heap of cash on a hypochondria aid.
Smart plugs
In the future, everything will be 'smart', by which companies mean they want you to be able to control your electronic life from your connected smartphone. Technology is going to allow you to talk to your plug sockets...
Smart motion sensor
...and send you a notification when someone is sneaking around your bins/garage/lunch box (wherever you have a strong sense of paranoia)...
Smart 'presence sensor'
...and notify you when your other half gets home/the cat goes off on a rampage/when you should probably go check on your nan because she hasn't left the house in four days...
Smart moisture sensor
...and in a truly connected home, you'll be able to find out when your plumbing has sprung a leak - giving you a head start on calling out a plumber and getting angry about replacing all your carpets.
"I'm sorry Dave..."
The designers of this security system stand had either not seen 2001: A Space Odyssey or thought that a product designed to look like HAL 9000 was actually a good thing.
Samsung UHD curve
How do you make show's life Chef's Table really come to life?
By spending money on hiring out the staff of a restaurant and showing you how to cook an incredible meal - not spending it on a 65-inch curved 4K screen and soundbar that makes real life look like it's missing a few colours.
Philips Lumea
Waxing salons will go out of business because of this thing.
A blast of ultra strong light from the Lumea is absorbed by the chemicals that make up fine hairs, causing them to shrivel and die.
This could also be the gadget that sees your mates hilariously remove your eyebrows when you nodded off after a few too many.
Philips Series 7000 smart razor
Suffering from shaving burn? Forget using a new skin treatment - the Series 7000 razor has an app that can teach you how to shave.
Does it sense your skin and provide feedback on your follicle density and direction? No, it just asks you "how was your shave?", builds a long term profile and tells you to stop shaving for as long on an intense setting.
Clever.
Dellica
Dellica make decent audio equipment for the Asian market.
They've also made a logo that in no way copies Dolby Digital's well-established symbol. Honest. It's entirely different.
Sunco
Gosh, the GoPro stand is a bit small this yea... wait a minute.
