There's something else in this kitchen with me. Something that sounds like it's got more than two legs.
I edge around a room littered with filth: there's something decaying in the fridge, dead crows in the microwave, a sink piled with things I don't really want to look at. There's a pot on the table, the contents of which appears to be largely bile and insects. That explains the scuttling sound.
With no sign of a mop to hand, I decide it best to leave, heading through a corridor that appears to be filled with cow carcasses, butchered in half. As I reach for a door handle, my movement disturbs something in the shadows. A doll falls from the ceiling. I recoil in my chair and let out a manic laugh of fear and delight.
These are the dark delights that await players of Resident Evil 7 - the latest entry of Capcom's legendary horror title that employs PlayStation's new VR headset (coming October) to crank up the thrills to new, sinister heights.
Many words have been written about the successes and failings of VR gaming: when it works, it feels like the future of all entertainment. When it doesn't, it leaves you in a nauseated, motion sick heap, wishing you'd just stuck to playing Candy Crush.
Resident Evil 7 belongs to that first category. The horror genre feels like it fits the immersive, claustrophobic nature of the headset more than any other experience. This playthrough in a twisted, ruined cabin - a demo you can download and play now, sans VR - has been created to set the tone for the new game, rather than revealing anything you'll be playing in the final iteration. It's about exploration and discovery rather than battering zombies with shotgun blasts.
The jumps are simple - a falling doll, a mannequin on the edge of your vision, a figure in the hallway. But when they're all taking place in front of your very eyes, these simple tricks can inspire proper, nerve shredding fear.
When the final game arrives and players plug into it with their VR headsets, someone, somewhere in the world is going to be sitting alone in the dark when their cat or dog pads into the room and jumps onto their lap. I have no doubt that this will result in the player accidentally killing the family pet - and I'll have the utmost sympathy for them. It's the most 'real' horror game I've ever played, and I was only in it for 13 minutes.
You're going to love it.
